Life seems so great at times, while things around you may be in a mess; your dog's pooing everywhere, the door knob maybe spoilt, the notebook refuses to startup, your house keys get lost. Life may be in such trouble and inconsistency, yet when you have your friends and that special person beside you, nothing seems to be able to knock you down. However, when that special person leaves you, no matter how well your dog can lick your boots, how nice of that automated door, how fast your notebook can run, you'll still feel that life is completely sucky, and nothing ever seems to go on right. Then you'll start to feel a headache, and you want to fall asleep, and never ever wake up again.

I wonder what happened.

Sometimes i wish i could have done better. In many things. Not only in work, studies, family. But many other things. I could have helped my friend open the door. I could have bought the drinks for my friends since their hands are full. I could have helped my mum watch the curry boil. I could have just agreed with my grandmother's old traditional methods. Why couldn't I have just done all these things.

I just don't know.

I always used to not bother about how other people think about me. But now I do. And I do care how you think about me. If life's just gonna be like that and take you away, I don't want it to happen. Not now, not tomorrow, not in this lifetime. Cos' I just want to let you know that I really loved you, more than anyone else in my life.

Nothing's gonna change.

The sun will still rise tomorrow. The rain will still fall downwards from the sky. The lights in the hdb flats will still get switched on at 7am. Nothing's gonna change, except your presence. I wish things hadn't became like that. I wish I had given much more. I just don't know how. I'm sorry.